*Monz was very curt with me one morning, as I flailed around in my worries and fears and troubles. A voice shot through my head and into my heart, making all my racing thoughts stop dead in their tracks: “Fear is Ego.”
And that’s when I laughed.
This kind of fear.
Big. Scary. Monster.
Fear can definitely work in your favor: from an evolutionary standpoint, fear is critical to our survival.
Getting chased by a lion? Fear prompts you to RUN, and activates those juicy adrenal glands to get you MOVING!
I’m sure you’ve already thought of five scenarios in your life where fear has been a very good thing.
But in this post, I’m talking about the other fear — the fear that does not serve: the stuff that holds us back an inch a day, slowly and systematically undermining our potential for a glorious life. And this is how you defeat the self-defeating, and transform it into a powerful ally.
This fear; it’s the thing we run from. The thing we’re ashamed of. The thing we won’t talk about. The thing we don’t want others to know. It’s that dark, dirty secret in the basement of our consciousness, and the more we try to hide it, the bigger it gets and more apparent it is to everyone.
When we feel afraid, we try and cover it up, don’t we? We throw that energy outside of us with bravado, paranoia, blame, or anger, or we turn it into depression, anxiety, and panic.
But let’s call this fear out, right now. Call it out for the squirrelly, slithery thing it really is: fear is just Ego, baby.
More accurately, fear is the unhealthiest manifestation of Ego.
Where Ego at its highest serves as our protector, gives us the strength and authority to set boundaries, have pride in our work, and strive to do and be greater, when left unchecked, this proud soldier withers into an amoral trickster, hiding in the shadows, making retching noises and playing on our insecurities.
And here’s the thing: fear is actually a signal that you are treading around greatness. But it won’t let you step into it if it can possibly help it, because the ego fears expansion.
Understand and respect the Ego, and banish fear. When fear clutches your chest, it is ego gone awry, whispering lies…
You’re not good enough.
They don’t like you.
You’ll never succeed and get what you want.
So what can you do? Turn the bastard in on itself.
Acknowledge your fear.
Say it out loud:
I AM AFRAID.
Say it through tears, with a shaking voice or with anger, but GET IT OUT. This throws our shadowy trickster right off his game. The Ego, when operating in fear, is truly at it’s weakest.
Acknowledgement and acceptance put your feet firmly on the ground. Until you pay attention to the beast, you cannot control it.
Speak the truth.
Begin to replace those whispers with bold statements of truth:
I am good enough. I will.
I like me; therefore I attract others who like me.
Of course I will succeed. I let go of the form, and pursue the feeling.
Speak the truth until you believe it. Feel the truth. Take steps into that truth with your actions.
Continue to acknowledge and accept yourself, your feelings, and your flailing ego just as it is, darling: without judgment.
Keep replacing those fearful niggles again and again with proud insight into the best of your ego.
Keep taking steps forward, no matter how wobbly the surface seems.
Let your ego evolve again into your ally. With the spotlight on it, it cannot help but transform into a thing of beauty. You must look to see.
This is all part of the human experience, and this won’t be the last time ego deflates on you. But that’s no problem.
Because now you know how to make friends again. 🙂