I’m coming out. Coming out of the psychic closet. I’m coming out because this is who I am, and I am determined to have the courage to live my authentic life, no matter what. But I have to admit this is scary.
Initially, only my family, friends and former work colleagues will read this post. I am afraid to share this with you. I am afraid of your judgment. I am afraid of losing you. I am afraid to shed the identity by which you know me, because I really like to please you.
Ah well…terror be damned. Here we go: into the fire, my loves!
I had no idea the people in my head are real.
I’m as surprised as you, honestly. Growing up, I had no idea that the people I see in my head are real and I can talk to them, and they can talk to me. I thought everyone saw that sort of thing. I don’t know why I thought that…I don’t recall ever asking someone “hey, do you see people, too?”
I’ve actually always been pretty envious of psychics and mediums and intuitives, as I decided long ago I had none of those talents and skills. Anyone who’s known me for any period of time will tell you how “heady” I am.
Well, I suppose I did know I have a little something going on because of my tarot card readings. But that’s at least semi-logical. Cards have pictures. Pictures have meaning. Memorize and repeat.
This is a little lot different. I see people, hear voices, feel sensations, and smell things, and see real events (past and future). Heh.
In realty, I see your people.
Just to be clear, they want to communicate with you. Not me. I’m just the wire service. Or message machine.
Sometimes I get a visit from the loved one of someone who I know, but am no longer in contact with. It’s not really okay for me to call this person up out of the blue and say “hey! Grandpa visited me! Yes, the dead one. He says hi.” I mean, how would you take that? So the agreement I have with Spirit is, I’ll take a message, and if the opportunity arises, I’ll be happy to deliver the message.
So Ingrid…how did this come about, exactly?
December 2014: lightning struck the tower, and it all crashed right on top of me. Everything changed as the tires screeched at the night, and my life skidded sideways and did a one-eighty. My life was picked up, turned upside down, and shaken vigorously.
Here’s the story:
I attended an event – a spiritual journey workshop type of thingy. I didn’t know anyone there, and I was feeling pretty insecure, uptight, and nervous. But I was ready for something, so I was there.
I had already made some pretty radical changes to my life the previous two years: I had moved my son and me to Los Angeles, and then quite my job there and started a business, and I’d kicked a number of addictions and bad boyfriends in the process. Heck, I even had a new boyfriend who was omg gorgeous and almost a lawyer (he, unfortunately, went down with the old life). I had plenty of friends, was plenty busy, and on the surface, was pretty satisfied.
But I needed something more. Something deeper. I could sense it, almost smell it, but it eluded my consciousness, and sat dormant, gurgling in my subconscious. I didn’t know I was doing it at the time, but I was digging for it. I could hear it breathing.
So back to this event: there I was, uncomfortable, alone, and I wasn’t sure I wanted to be there any more at all.
I sat by myself, sort of envying the people around me, easily chattering with each other. I felt a random, sharp pain in my left shoulder, and I started to rub it, almost absently. This caught the attention of an adorable little woman sitting near me. She inched a little closer.
“Hi. Would you like some energy work?”
It’s weird for how uncomfortable I felt a moment before, but within about a nano-second I was laying on the floor in front her, and her hands were on me: one over my heart, one over my abdomen.
Now, I can’t relay the following to you in any linear fashion. The experience was so out of this world, I’m not sure it conformed to time and space constructs, as we understand them.
So I’m going to “heady” this, and break it down by sub-event, to try and give some semblance of order to the experience. I hope you can bear with me, because it truly was incredible, and I desperately want to give it justice in the sharing of it.
She had her hands on me, and we were chatting a little. I was awkward, and she felt it. Her hands were hot! Without thinking about it, I moved one of her hands lower, covering my abdomen. I was feeling a dull pain rise up there.
Me: “Something is wrong there.”
Me: “Something’s been wrong there for a long time. It hurts!”
I pressed her hands down hard on me, over my abdomen and over my heart. My abdomen seemed to swell, and it hurt like hell. “Something is wrong!” I kept saying. I don’t recall her saying anything. Just holding her hands over me.
I was in physical pain, but something else shifted: something “other”. I can only describe it as a crack, and then it was like tectonic plates in my being started to shift for the first time. I started to cry.
Her, out of freaking nowhere: “Your dad is here.”
This woman knows nothing about me, and has no idea my dad passed away eighteen years earlier.
Reconnecting with my dad
“He wants you to know, Ingrid, that he’s always been here.”
“He wants to tell you he’s sorry. He’s sorry for all the pain he caused. He didn’t know he was doing it.”
(dad had PTSD, and it was very challenging for the whole family living with his trauma).
“But he’s here. He’s always here with you. He wants to be here. You cannot ask too much of him. Anything, Ingrid.”
“Oh look, he has a dog with him!”
(my childhood dog, Dingo).
I’m paraphrasing what she said. But those particular things did come through, along with a whole lot else I don’t remember or just can’t put into words.
I’m crying big time by this point. Leaking from every facial orifice. I’ve never cried like this in my life. And for the first time ever, crying is a release. And I don’t give a shit about my snot nose and puffy eyes. I’m not even terribly aware of the group around me, except the occasional set of hands laid on me for comfort, or a gentle whisper of encouragement and admiration.
Now I’m telling her to “tell my dad this”. “Ask him that”. I want more! This is unbelievable!
Her face kind of goes blank, and she said:
“Nope, he’s done with me. He wants to talk to you.”
I can’t talk to him. He’s dead. I have no idea…
OH MY GOD!
My head is flooded with images. Symbols. His face.
Waves and waves, oceans and oceans of love are washing over me.
“I have him! I can talk to him! He’s telling me…we’re close. We’re soul mates. No…closer…oh my god. We’re like…twins!”
And then I’m laughing. Laughing like I’ve never laughed before. Big heaping helpings of laughter. I’m awash with this innocent love, ecstatic joy, and my dad was laughing right along with me. He’s just as excited and thrilled to be with me as I am to be with him.
Spontaneous past life regression
After the healing was done, I found myself buried in my hands, transported back in time to what looked and felt like ancient Greece. The experience was physically, emotionally and spiritually intense! I vibrated as I was taken through a whole different life in a fairly linear fashion: from childhood, meeting a love, marriage, children, and finally death. It was a beautiful, happy life, and I could see all my friends and family there. I recognized them in the different roles they played…all still so tightly entwined, and everyone so very, very happy. It’s like I was shown my vacation life!
I can still recollect those happy memories, like they are my own from this lifetime.
When I told my mother about this experience, she told me that my dad used to talk about a past life he recalled in ancient Greece.
When this adorable healer took her hands off me, my body could only be described buoyant! I felt light. Totally cleaned out.
Me: “what was that?”
Her: “just gunk. You carry a lot of other people’s energy in your womb. A lot of that was your dad’s trauma, which you took from him when you were little. And when he died, that was left behind, and you took it all inside you, in to the safest place you have, because it was the only thing you had left of him. But you don’t need to do that any more!”
I never realized how heavy I felt all the time. Until, I didn’t any more. I felt like I could move without effort. I could breath without a heavy chest. And I had my dad back, in all that light and joy!
Wow, Ingrid. What happened next?
I’ll tell you what happened next: total destruction, and a pretty far out Ingrid for a month or so.
I was bouncing uncontrollably between worlds for a time. I was ethereally, ecstatically connected and disconnected all at once. I watched with awe and amusement as the physical world I had struggled so hard for so many years to construct crumbled around me. My life was reduced to rubble, and I was left to begin again from nothing. I didn’t even really mind.
I’ve been so fortunate to land in nature, among friends and family, as I grab hold of my feelings, and learn how to control myself, protect myself, trust myself, and play in Spirit.
It took me several months to grow into myself as a grounded Spirit Medium. At first, I only connected with my dad. Then I met Monz, my Spirit Guide. Then my friend’s grandmother came through for her. My connection with Spirit continues to strengthen and intensify.
I have found support in every corner: I have a large and loving spirit tribe, guiding me through this unknown terrain. My friends and family support me, regardless of their personal belief system or opinion on my lifestyle, and I continue to encounter spirit guides in human form, who feed me information and tools, which help me manage my buoyancy!
And then it took many months for me to loosen my grip on my ego identity with my professional life and relationships. But as I let go of that, inch by inch, I grow foot by foot into a woman I admire so much: into this life which is so well beyond my wildest dreams. And that place is where I finally found the courage to come out as me: in all my glory, with all my foibles, through all my fears and fear of judgments.
Today, I live and love in partnership with Spirit, and we are in service to you. I’m a great delivery system for counseling with your Spirit Tribe, and I am honored to hold that post.
Through me, Spirit is able to offer you:
- Reconnection with loved ones who have passed on
- Advice, guidance and love from your Spirit Guide and tribe members
- Past life readings and regressions
- Clairvoyant psychic readings
- Tarot readings
- Bits and pieces that are always unique to you
I receive messages from Spirit in many different ways, but I’m primarily clairvoyant, so I can share with you the rich, visual experience that I get from your tribe.
I invite you, cordially, to meet me in Spirit, and see what your whole tribe has available for you.
Read some testimonials to get a sense of what it’s about, but remember that your experience will be entirely unique.