Not getting what you want can be a tremendous stroke of luck.
I don’t know if that’s true between us.
But I’m prayin’ for it!
Because listening to you tell me
(After I fell in love)
That you can’t love me back
However much you want to.
It’s for reasons beyond your control
(nothing to do with me, of course).
It’s odd, but I believe you
Adding grit to this heartbreak.
When you panicked a little
at ‘I love you’
I’m hoping that backlash
Is the result of fear (not repulsion).
These things water this lump in my throat
Blocking my heart’s ululate.
(thank god you don’t see it
but lord, let it loose before it drowns me).
Here’s my plea, whoever’s “up there”
Hear this prayer!
Let this be a tremendous stroke of luck
And not really how it feels.